Day in and day out, life has its aggravations. Some are big, some are small. But even the small ones can drive you crazy!
• When entering a store, you almost always choose the “exit” door by mistake. Embarrassed, you move to the “enter” door, but it’s locked and there’s a small sign saying, “Please use other door!” People are now watching you and giggling to themselves. You have a sudden overwhelming desire to be invisible.
• You phone a company and they have an automated phone system. “Hello, you’ve reached the Canadian Widget Company. If you want product information, press 1. If you want the repair department, press 2, etc.”
The trouble is that you don’t want any of the choices the recording offers. And if you stay on the line to talk to an actual human, you’re left waiting forever with awful music playing in the background. It makes you want to scream!
• You finally get around to organizing your basement workbench area. You get everything neat and tidy, but the very next day your son decides to build a project involving enormous quantities of nails, screws, glue and paint. Alas, the basement looks like a disaster area again. You can’t win.
• Magazines are full of annoying advertising cards between the pages. It’s bad enough that these magazines are full of “regular” ads, but the addition of all those “special inserts” drives you crazy.
• Your barbecue tank always runs out of propane in the middle of cooking a choice cut of beef, but never while cooking hamburgers.
• You find that occasionally there’s a local news story about which you have first-hand knowledge, but the news reports on it contain inaccuracies. Most people don’t know this because, unlike you, they’re not aware of all the details. You start to wonder if other stories have inaccuracies, too.
• Glass spray-cleaners often leave that hazy smudge behind. You do the job again and it looks worse. Sometimes, after three or four tries, you think the smudge is gone, and then the sun shines on it and it’s back.
• You can’t figure out why air points with certain companies don’t add up to anything significant. You use their card, but so far all you qualify for is a one-way flight to Regina.
• The item you want in the basement freezer is always underneath about five other things, and by the time you find it, your hands are frozen. While searching through all those frozen food layers, you discover things you forgot you even had. “What the heck is this stuff, anyway? A big chunk of frozen something or other. Let’s defrost it and have a surprise for dinner.”
• If you shovel and scrape all the snow and ice off your driveway, it will snow another 10 centimetres the following day.
• When you’re doing the laundry, you always forget to spray stain-remover on the garment that “must be sprayed before it goes into the wash, otherwise the stain will “set permanently.” It sets permanently.
• A variation of this is forgetting that certain items “must not go in the dryer because they will shrink.” They shrink.
In both cases, these are always the most expensive clothes you own.
• When you finish folding the laundry, there are always two socks left that don’t match, or one sock left over with no partner.
• You race to the store to take advantage of a terrific sale price you saw in a newspaper ad that morning. You discover that the sale doesn’t start for two days. You are very patient and go back later. Sure. Right.
• If you need a store clerk to help you, there are never any around. But, if you are just browsing, they’re everywhere. They even ask if you need help.
• There are never any store mirrors when you want to see how clothes look and the fitting rooms are
• If the fitting rooms are open, the doors have no locks or latches and will not stay closed. Not only are there no mirrors in those cubicles, but there’s also no clothes hooks or shelves. Isn’t shopping fun?
• Chances are that when you have a flat tire on your car, your “spare” will be flat, too. If your spare isn’t flat, it’s probably in your garage, instead of your car trunk.