Just about everyone has an opinion about the pros and cons of television. For all its wonderful qualities, it has lots of things about it that can drive you crazy.
• You look through the TV listings and find several shows you really want to see. Then you realize they’re on “Pay” TV and you either don’t get “Pay” or don’t want to pay. In fact, you’ve started to hate TV listings, because you’re always seeing great movies and shows listed that you’d like to watch but they’re on channels to which you don’t subscribe.
As the old TV saying goes, “Channel tiers bring channel tears.”
• Sometimes it seems impossible to figure out which cable number a show is on because the listings maze is so complicated. The station may be 11, but your cable company has it on 6. And then, just when you finally get used to transposing the channel numbers and have all the combinations memorized, the cable company adds more channels you don’t want, changes the channel set-up and you’re back to square-one on Cable 3.
• You can never figure out which remote runs the TV and which remote is for the PVR, DVR, satellite, DVD, or whatever. Maybe they're interchangeable. But not on your set.
• Your kids refuse to watch the old, small-screen TV in the rec room. They want the big-screen model in the family room. They also want to record their shows at the same time you’re recording something else.
• Does anything attract more dust than a TV screen? Yes, a TV cabinet.
• You buy a nice woodgrain DVD storage drawer, but never get around to labelling the DVDs inside that you recorded. Now everything is tucked away neat and tidy, but you have no idea what’s on any of your 30 disks.
• One of the “super” stations down in the U.S. has a promo for a show you want to see, but it gives the start time in “their” time zone. You record it an hour early or an hour late.
• How can it be that there’s nothing worth watching on all those cable or satellite channels to which we now have access. It takes forever to scan through all of them, but often there’s nothing decent to watch.
This is why men love “channel surfing” with the remote. We’re looking desperately for something worthy of our attention.
By the time you scan through all those channels, you’ve probably forgotten which show you thought you might like to come back to. And if you did find it, it would probably be over.
• When it turns out that there IS something good on TV, there’s always something good on every channel. That’s when you know it’s a ratings “sweep” week. All the good shows are on every channel for two solid weeks and then it’s back to the usual time-filling tripe.
Spreading the good shows in amongst the weak stuff all through the season would be a lot better. But apparently, that’s not economically sound from a TV business perspective. After all, they wouldn’t want advertisers saying: “Look at that network’s fabulous ratings. They were great for two weeks and the rest of the time — they stunk!”
• The Law of TV Hype: The shows that networks promote look like they’ll be really good, but when you tune in to that show, it’s crumby. But it looked so good in the promo, didn't it? This proves that you can make anything look good in 15 or 30 seconds.
The same law also applies to movies.
• Why do TV weather people always refer to shower “activity?” Is that some sort of special rain? What’s the matter with good old regular rain?
Will we soon be treated to sun “activity?” And then, cloud, fog, partly cloudy, hazy and snow “activity?”
I guess I’d have to admit, though, even with all its irritants, I love TV. As a person who’s old enough to remember when there was no TV, I still find it entertaining and often highly educational. Anything Kardashian, notwithstanding!