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Being old is being comfortable
Oct 14, 2011

 

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “surely I can’t look that old?” I guess that’s human nature — and denial! 
Here’s a little story that demonstrates the point.  
While waiting for her first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, a woman noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, she remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in her high school class some 30 years ago. 
Upon seeing him, however, she quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was much too old to have been her classmate.
 After he had examined her teeth, she asked him if he had attended the local high school.  
“Yes,” he replied. 
“When did you graduate?” she asked. 
“In 1971,” he answered. “Why?" 
“You were in my class!” she exclaimed. 
He looked at her closely and then asked. “What did you teach?”
Games for older people:
• Sag, you’re it. 
• Pin the toupee on the bald guy. 
• 20 questions (shouted into your good ear). 
• Simon says (something incoherent). 
• Spin the bottle (of Geritol). 
• Musical recliners. 
Maybe a nursing home isn’t the answer.
A disgruntled senior came up with this tongue-in-cheek idea:
“With the average cost for a nursing home reaching atrocious levels, there’s a better way to spend our savings, when we get old and feeble.
“Just check on reservations at hotels  for a  ‘combined long-term-stay discount and a senior discount.’ It beats the nursing home  price by a mile. Plus, you get:
• “Laundry service and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
• “They treat you like a customer, not a patient. A small tip per day will have the entire staff anxious to please.
• “For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus from the hotel and eat at one of the airport’s restaurants. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
• “It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Hotels will take your reservation today. And, you’re not stuck in one place forever. You can move from hotel to hotel, or even from city to city. 
• “TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything and they apologize for the inconvenience.
• “And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to see you, and will probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. Plus, the grandkids can use the pool.
“Clever, eh?”
Quick thoughts on getting older:
• Eventually you will reach a point where you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. 
• Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve travelled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved. 
• The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. 
• One of the many things they don’t tell you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young. 
• Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. 
• When you’re dissatisfied and would like to go back to the days of your youth,- think of algebra!