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Kids say the darndest things
May 06, 2011
Here’s a timely idea. Although I’m about to salute the woman in print  whose special day is the second Sunday each May, moms should be celebrated every day of the year.  
Somebody had the great idea of asking a group of second graders some questions about mom. Remember how Art Linkletter came up with that old TV show called Kids Say the Darndest Things?  Well, he was right. Kids’ logic is always quite charming, straight-forward  and often very amusing.  Here’s a sample of what the school kids had to say:
Question: “Why did God make mothers?” 
Answers: 
• “She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.”
• “Mostly to clean the house.”
• “To help us out of there when we were getting born.”  
Question: “How did God make mothers?”  
Answers:
 • “He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.”
•  “Magic plus super-powers and a lot of stirring.”
Question: “What ingredients are mothers made of?”  
Answer: “God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world.”
Question: “Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?”
Answers:
• “We're related.”
• “God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me. “ 
Question: “What kind of a little girl was your mom?”
Answers:  
• “My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.”
• “I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be — pretty bossy.”
• “They say she used to be nice.”
Question: “What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?” 
Answers: 
• “His last name.”
• “She had to know his background.  Like, is he a crook? And does he get drunk on beer?”
Question: “Why did your mom marry your dad?”
Answers:  
• “My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.”
• “She got too old to do anything else with him.”
• “My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.” 
Question: “Who’s the boss at your house?”
Answers:
• “Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.”
• “Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.”
• “I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.”  
Question: “What’s the difference between moms and dads?”  
Answers:
• “Moms work at work, and work at home, and dads just go to work at work.”
• “Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.”
• “Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power because that's who you ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.”
• “Moms have magic and they make you feel better without medicine.”  
Question: “What does your mom do in her spare time?”
Answers:  
•  “Mothers don’t have spare time.”
• “She says she pays bills all day long.”  
Question: “What would it take to make your mom perfect?”  
Answer: “On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.”
Question: “If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?”
Answers:
• “She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.”
• “I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes in the back of her head.”